‘Can Opener’ Opens Actual Can

The notorious ‘can opener’ bridge lived up to its name this morning as it was used to open an enormous can of Campbell’s Tomato Soup.

Mayor Carolyn Riggle and city officials responded to the perplexing scene at the low-clearance bridge on West Central Avenue. “We’ve seen a lot of trucks hit this bridge, but we never thought we’d see it open an actual can,” Riggle said in a statement at the scene. “The irony is not lost on us.”

Delaware Police Chief Adam Moore disclosed that preliminary investigations indicate that the mammoth soup can was dragged and deposited under the bridge between 9-10 am, causing a significant disruption to the morning traffic.

“This incident, while unusual, is not without serious consequences. An open can of this magnitude poses a risk to public safety and wildlife, as evidenced by the unfortunate discovery of several raccoons found swimming in the soup,” remarked Chief Moore. He stressed the importance of the swift response by city crews to control traffic and ensure the public’s safety.

Using a crane and a tow truck, the city crew members extracted the can from under the bridge by noon, reopening the road to traffic. The spectacle was witnessed by a small crowd of early morning bystanders, curious about the bizarre sight.

The city has decided to drain the remaining soup and donate it to local charities. “We thought it was a good opportunity to turn a strange incident into something positive,” Mayor Riggle stated. As part of the initiative, the city will use super soaker water guns to squirt the soup into the mouths of those in need. 

The Campbell’s Soup Company was informed about the incident and has disavowed any connection to it. The Delaware Police Department continues investigating the incident and asks anyone with information to contact them.

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