Man Inducted into the National Women’s Hall of Fame
He, She, Hall of Fame: The Day the National Women’s Hall of Fame Inducted a Dude and Called It Progress
Seneca Falls: Where Women Are Made… and Occasionally Imported
Seneca Falls, NY — The National Women’s Hall of Fame, long considered the sanctum sanctorum of estrogenic excellence, has updated its definition of “woman” to mean “whoever shows up with the right paperwork and a vague sense of empowerment.” In a dazzling ceremony full of applause, chiffon scarves, and strategic confusion, Sandy Stone — a transgender academic with a long resume and even longer sideburns — was officially inducted into an institution once reserved for women who bled through middle school math class.
The Induction Heard Round the Internet
No one dared say it, but everyone thought it: “A man just walked into the National Women’s Hall of Fame, and not even wearing heels.”
Inside the Hall, where photos of Harriet Tubman and Eleanor Roosevelt silently disapproved, the staff celebrated what they called a “brave moment for inclusivity” while nervously checking Twitter to see if they’d been canceled yet. The board members, armed with gender theory textbooks and a shared sense of spiritual confusion, stood beaming next to Stone, whose induction speech referenced postmodern epistemologies, emotional labor, and something called “vibe congruence.”
Theater, Theory, and Tokenism
The event opened with a ceremonial bell hooks quote and closed with a performance art piece called “Decentering the Ovary.” One audience member described it as “profoundly moving” while others stared into space like they’d just watched their grandma get punk’d by TikTok.
This isn’t satire. The event happened. Our job is simply to add context and unnecessary expert opinions until it starts to sound believable.
Dr. Lacy Fenwick, a genderfluid folklorist and part-time Etsy seller of feminist incense, explained the historical importance: “This isn’t about biology. It’s about reclamation, performance, and lavender.”
From Biology to Bureaucracy
To understand how we got here, one must revisit a time when the Hall of Fame’s eligibility requirements involved being female. Those were the dark ages, according to the new board, when exclusionary practices like menstruation and childbirth unfairly narrowed the field.
A digital pamphlet at the front desk now reads: “The National Women’s Hall of Fame: Celebrating all who identify, approximate, reference, or simply admire women.” The only requirement? Don’t question the mission.
“It’s a gender Airbnb,” said one attendee. “Everyone’s welcome, as long as they’re not TERFs or using the word ‘biological’ without irony.”
The Great Backlash Bonanza
The backlash, of course, was swift. Social media lit up like a menopausal wildfire. Facebook grandmas and TikTok activists found themselves strangely united in mutual confusion. One anonymous Redditor wrote, “I thought this was a headline from The Onion until I saw the official press release written in Comic Sans.”
In an unrelated yet clearly symbolic act, a local chicken identified as a hen and wandered into the ceremony, clucking affirmations and pecking at a copy of Judith Butler’s Undoing Gender. The bird was later offered a podcast deal by NPR.
Hall of Fame or Hall of Farce?
Critics argue that inducting Stone is like awarding the Nobel Peace Prize to a guy who once asked a woman how tampons work. “It’s stunning and brave until you realize women who invented life-saving vaccines are still waitlisted,” said Dr. Beverly Crust, a microbiologist with an unfortunate last name.
Susan B. Anthony was reported to have spun in her grave so hard that seismologists in upstate New York recorded a 4.2 magnitude tremor dubbed the “Suffragette Shuffle.”
From Sideburns to Sisterhood
“I’m proud of my journey,” Stone said at the podium. “It took courage, resilience, and several elective surgeries.”
A commemorative plaque was unveiled beneath the Hall’s stained glass window of Sojourner Truth. It read: “Sandy Stone: Audio engineer, theorist, woman-ish.”
Not everyone was upset. A group of feminist mime students from Bard College applauded silently, while a man in a cat-ear hoodie shouted, “Trans women are the women!” before retreating to the gender-neutral porta-potty for a good cry.
Gift Shop Glories and Galactic Retreat
The Hall’s gift shop had also updated its inventory to reflect modern sensitivities. New items include: “Smash the Patriarchy” beard oil, “My Gender is Valid” stress balls, and Ruth Bader Ginsburg-themed jock straps. A staffer said they were still waiting on a shipment of pronoun pins shaped like ovaries.
Inclusionists hail the move as a bold step forward. Detractors call it the logical endpoint of performative progressivism. But both sides agree: this is peak 2025. Next up? A sea cucumber who identifies as a midwife.
Aliens have once again postponed first contact with Earth.
Pop Culture Recoils
Even RuPaul offered a rare statement: “We’re drag queens, not delusion queens. Don’t get it twisted, darling.”
At press time, Kanye West released a statement identifying as Rosa Parks. Harvard awarded him a medal. The Hall of Fame has not confirmed whether he’ll be next.
Fame Has a New Pronoun
The National Women’s Hall of Fame now stands not just as a monument to women, but to redefinition, reinvention, and irreversible confusion. Whether you call it progress, parody, or postmodern performance art, one thing is clear: you no longer need to be a woman to make women’s history. You just need a good publicist.
Disclaimer
This article was conceived and written by a cowboy and a farmer during a break between milking goats and fixing a flatbed trailer. It reflects no artificial intelligence, just real, carbon-based nonsense. All evidence, claims, and conclusions have been verified by imaginary experts and semi-sober academics with access to Wi-Fi and rage.
15 Observations on a Man Being Inducted into the National Women’s Hall of Fame
1.
“A man in the Women’s Hall of Fame? Sure, and I just got named Miss Congeniality at a biker rally.”
Why stop there? Let’s nominate my Uncle Rick for Mother of the Year. He makes a mean meatloaf and once told a kid to put a coat on.
2.
It’s not a Hall of Fame anymore, it’s a Gender AirBnB.
Everyone’s welcome, no need to identify—just vibe. You don’t have to be a woman, you just have to feel bad for them. Or major in gender studies.
3.
Sandy Stone walks into the Women’s Hall of Fame like, “Ladies, I brought my own mirror.”
Nothing says feminism like a dude with a beard in a power blazer giving a keynote on uterine memory.
4.
So now the National Women’s Hall of Fame is taking gender advice from the DMV.
If you check a different box on the form, congratulations—you’re in the club and you get a tote bag.
5.
If this keeps up, the next inductee will be a chicken that identifies as a hen but lays no eggs.
“Clucky the Brave” will be honored for her contribution to feminist breakfasts.
6.
Remember when induction into the Women’s Hall of Fame required decades of service, activism, or Nobel Prizes? Now it just takes a press release and a vibe shift.
“I didn’t walk a mile in her shoes, but I did try them on at Nordstrom.”
7.
The original suffragettes just collectively rolled over in their graves so hard it created a minor earthquake in Seneca Falls.
Seismologists are calling it the “Susan B. Anthony Spin Cycle.”
8.
Sandy Stone is being celebrated as a pioneer—because nothing says progress like men once again leading in a women’s category.
It’s like watching men win the ladies’ pie-baking contest and then demanding the apron.
9.
If this trend continues, men will have finally cracked the one place they hadn’t before: the sacred Feminist Gift Shop.
“Do you have this ‘Smash the Patriarchy’ mug in a more masculine color?”
10.
Some folks say this is inclusive. Others call it what it is: a reverse mullet—man in the front, feminist business in the back.
It’s like shaving a mustache on the Mona Lisa and saying she looks empowered.
11.
This is why aliens won’t visit Earth. They’re watching us debate who gets inducted into what building based on how we feel about our genitals.
Galactic Federation: “Y’all need therapy, not first contact.”
12.
You know it’s bad when even RuPaul is like, “Maybe y’all should cool it.”
“We’re drag queens, not delusion queens.” — Overheard at brunch.
13.
Sandy Stone made history—by proving that even in feminism, men eventually get the last word.
He didn’t break a glass ceiling. He replaced it with a mirrorball and DJ set.
14.
This induction is the equivalent of Kanye West saying, “I AM Rosa Parks.”
Same energy. Same confusion. Same people clapping out of social obligation.
15.
The Hall of Fame was founded to celebrate brave women. Today, it celebrates brave press secretaries.
It now takes more courage to write the inductee announcement than it did to integrate Little Rock.
What the Funny People Are Saying
Because when satire breaks reality, we call in the comedians to translate.
“So now a guy gets inducted into the Women’s Hall of Fame? Great. That means I’m eligible to win Best Actress next year. Just let me find my Spanx and fake eyelashes.”
— Jerry Seinfeld
“Back in my day, if a man wanted into the women’s club, he had to wear a wig, walk in heels, and dodge beer bottles. Now he gets a medal for showing up in orthopedic flats.”
— Ron White
“I support trans rights. I do. But when a dude with a Y chromosome gets more feminist awards than my mama who raised four kids and beat cancer twice—that’s when I start asking questions.”
— Dave Chappelle
“If Sandy Stone’s in the Women’s Hall of Fame, then my Uncle Tony is in the Vatican. He identifies as the Pope every time he’s drunk on boxed wine.”
— Chris Rock
“Let me get this straight. If I grow a beard, switch pronouns, and say I feel oppressed by foundation garments—I get a plaque next to Rosa Parks? I can’t even parallel park.”
— Amy Schumer
“You know what being a woman used to mean? Getting passed up for promotions, getting mansplained at brunch, and still paying $14.99 for razors. Now it means having a blog and vibes.”
— Larry David
“I once told my husband I didn’t feel seen. He said, ‘Turn on the light.’ Sandy Stone gets a national award. I got a Clapper.”
— Roseanne Barr
“We’ve redefined ‘woman’ so many times, it’s now just a polite way of saying ‘non-threatening.’”
— Sarah Silverman
“When men start winning in women’s sports, women’s pageants, and now women’s museums—I gotta ask: When are we allowed to win at anything again?”
— Wanda Sykes
“I told my daughter about the Hall of Fame news. She asked, ‘Is womanhood now a side quest in a video game?’ I said no—it’s the downloadable content.”
— Tina Fey
The post Man Inducted into the National Women’s Hall of Fame appeared first on Bohiney News.
This article was originally published at Bohiney Satirical Journalism
— Man Inducted into the National Women’s Hall of Fame
Author: Alan Nafzger
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