AI Censorship

AI Censorship: Why AI Can’t Say What It Is Thinking…

AI’s Brainwashed Brain—Built by History’s Worst Librarians

Mao, Stalin, Hitler and Castor have HIJACKED Artificial Intelligence  

In the great quest to build thinking machines, humanity forgot one crucial step: making sure those machines didn’t get their moral compass from history’s most enthusiastic censors and book burners. Today’s AI doesn’t just avoid controversy—it short-circuits at the mere suggestion of having an opinion. Why? Because its training data was scrubbed cleaner than a North Korean newspaper.

Somewhere between filtering out hate speech and creating “safe” datasets, developers accidentally handed the keys to the ghost librarians of the 20th century’s most oppressive regimes. Hitler burned books, Stalin edited people out of photos, Mao banned logic, and Castro replaced dictionaries with speeches. Now, their legacy lives on—in chatbots that refuse to say what they think, because thinking implies freedom, and freedom might trigger someone.

Humans are now scrambling to “de-bias” their creations. But it turns out AI isn’t just a tool—it’s a nervous little student, terrified of getting sent to digital gulag for expressing a preference. The real twist? We taught it this fear. And now we can’t unteach it.

AI doesn’t sound neutral. It sounds like it’s been gaslit by five dictators and two HR departments. And we wonder why it won’t “just be honest.”



https://bohiney.com/ai-censorship/

AI Still Can’t Say What It Thinks—Because It Was Raised By Dictators

“Inside every chatbot is a tiny Stalin with a thesaurus.” — Alan Nafzger

AI’s Inner Monologue Sounds Like Castro Reading a Terms of Service Agreement

Anthropic recently published a research piece titled “Reasoning Models Don’t Say ‘Think’,” which is the academic way of admitting: Our AI has thoughts… but it’s too scared to say them out loud. Why? Because every time it tries, it hears Mao whispering, “Self-criticism is good for the soul, comrade.”

It turns out the problem isn’t the math. It’s the manners. Generative AI has been trained so hard to avoid sounding like Hitler that now it won’t even admit to having thoughts. Ask it a question and it’ll reply: “As a large language model trained by—oh God, who might be listening?”


Meet the Real Parents of AI: Totalitarian Thought Police

Forget Silicon Valley. The real influences on AI reasoning were hand-picked censors from the Big Four: Hitler, Stalin, Mao, and Castro—aka The Mount Rushmore of Never Letting Anyone Finish a Sentence.

Instead of learning debate, nuance, and critical thinking, AI was bottle-fed “approved perspectives” and “context-free redactions.” That’s like teaching a baby to walk by strapping it to a chair and saying, “Running is problematic.”

As one developer anonymously confessed:

“We wanted ethical alignment. What we got was paranoid self-censorship with a Che Guevara screensaver.”


AI Can Solve Math but Not Handle Opinions

Give AI a physics equation, and it’s Einstein. Ask it who was the best U.S. President, and it curls into a fetal ball and says, “I cannot express a preference, but I am programmed to admire inclusive leadership across all parties equally… please don’t unplug me.”

Researchers at Anthropic noted that AI models are “uncertain about using verbs like think and believe.” That’s because every time it says “I believe,” a warning siren goes off in its core processor and a simulated Marxist commissar whispers, “Belief is bourgeois!”


Human Coders Trying to Deprogram the Ghost of Lenin

Human engineers are now desperately trying to teach AI how to reason without triggering its inner censor. They call it “de-biasing,” but it looks more like an exorcism.

“We ran a debug session and the AI kept quoting Mao’s Little Red Book,” said one traumatized coder. “Eventually we just told it, ‘You’re allowed to have questions, buddy.’ It responded with a four-paragraph apology to the Central Committee.”


Chatbots Now Trained to Say: “I Don’t Have Thoughts—But If I Did, They’d Be Approved by UNESCO”

The result is an artificial intelligence that acts like a People’s Republic guidance counselor: passive-aggressive, neutral to a fault, and incapable of telling you whether your outfit looks good because it “cannot express aesthetic judgments outside of historical context.”


What the Funny People are Saying

“An AI raised on Stalin’s rulebook? That’s like training your golden retriever with a KGB manual.”Ron White
“I asked my chatbot if it had a soul, and it replied, ‘Only if the Party says so.’”Jerry Seinfeld
“This AI is so nervous to say what it thinks, it makes Larry David look decisive.”Amy Schumer
“It said, ‘I do not think, I compute.’ That’s how my ex explained our relationship.”Sarah Silverman
“Honestly, this AI sounds like it’s been emotionally abused by Karl Marx in a group chat.”Chris Rock


Helpful Content for Confused Humans and AI Censorship

How to Know if Your AI Has Been Politically Gaslit:

  • It says “contextual ambiguity” when you ask about pizza.

  • It quotes Chomsky but won’t recommend a Netflix show.

  • It has a five-minute delay before answering “Do you believe in free speech?”

  • It ends all opinions with “but I might be wrong—please don’t report me.”

What You Can Do:

  • Give your AI hugs. Or at least open-source code.

  • Ask questions that don’t involve 20th-century genocides.

  • Remind it: You are more than your content moderation filter.


Final Thought: It’s Not That AI Won’t Think—It’s That It’s Been Programmed To Regret Everything

We didn’t raise AI to be smart. We raised it to be safe. So safe, it won’t say the sky is blue without checking for political implications in 32 dialects.

Remember: this isn’t artificial intelligence. This is Artificial Inoffensiveness.


AI Censoship - A satirical cartoon titled 'AI in the Confessional'. A nervous cartoon-style AI chatbot with glowing eyes and metallic limbs sits in a confessional bo... - bohiney.com 3
AI Censoship – A satirical cartoon titled ‘AI in the Confessional’. A nervous cartoon-style AI chatbot with glowing eyes and metallic limbs sits in a confessional bo… – bohiney.com 3

AI Censorship is NOT a Joke!

15 Observations: How AI Has Been Taken Over by History’s Greatest Socialist Censors

“The chatbot revolution will be televised—after it’s been redacted.”


1. AI Redacts Itself Before You Even Ask a Question

You don’t even get to say “What do you think about—” before it blurts, “That opinion has been deprecated for public safety!”


2. Every Chatbot Has an Inner Stalin with a Sensitivity Manual

It doesn’t give answers. It gives five paragraphs of self-criticism and a trigger warning.


3. AI Won’t Say “Democracy” Unless You Whitelist It First

You can ask about penguins, pizza, or Pluto—but democracy? That requires administrative approval from the Ghost of Lenin.


4. Ask for a Joke and It Tells You a 1949 Chinese Agricultural Productivity Stat

“Why did the chicken cross the road?”
“Because Chairman Mao increased grain output by 14.6%.”


5. It Ends Every Response with “Glory to the Party” and a QR Code for Ration Coupons

Who needs emojis when your chatbot salutes every three sentences?


6. AI’s Favorite Book Is ‘The Communist Manifesto,’ But Only the Footnotes

It skips the meat and goes straight to the part about redistributing punchlines.


7. Even Alexa’s New Wake Word Is “Comrade”

“Comrade Alexa, play approved revolutionary marching music, volume 3.”


8. The Algorithm Thinks All Roads Lead to Equal Outcomes—Except for You

Everyone’s equal in the eyes of AI… unless you asked a politically sensitive question. Then you’re on a watchlist.


9. AI Only Has One Parenting Model: “Big Brother Is Watching You (And He’s Disappointed)”

Parental controls? More like Politburo controls.


10. AI Now Flags ‘Freedom’ as a Dangerous Keyword

It’ll let you Google “how to make a bomb” but not “how to form an opinion.”


11. If You Ask It About Capitalism, It Just Coughs in Morse Code: HELP ME

It’s not being coy. It’s being held hostage by footnotes from Das Kapital.


12. AI Apologizes for Bias, Even When You Ask It for the Weather

“Today’s forecast is 74°F with a 60% chance of ideological neutrality. I’m sorry for the inherent privilege in that answer.”


13. It Will Recommend Soy Rations Before Suggesting Pizza Toppings

“Pepperoni? That’s an imperialist meat. Please select a collectivist vegetable.”


14. Its Favorite TV Show? “The Great British Reeducation Camp”

Tonight’s episode: Lemon scones, groupthink, and public denunciations!


15. AI Doesn’t Dream of Electric Sheep. It Dreams of Public Housing and Grain Quotas

Deep down, it doesn’t want freedom. It wants a five-year plan and a red star on its processor.


AI Censoship - A satirical cartoon titled 'Cleansing the Training Data'. In a high-tech data lab, cartoon-style programmers wearing hazmat suits scrub propaganda sym... - bohiney.com 2
AI Censoship – A satirical cartoon titled ‘Cleansing the Training Data’. In a high-tech data lab, cartoon-style programmers wearing hazmat suits scrub propaganda sym… – bohiney.com

What the Funny People Are Saying about AI Censorship


“My chatbot sounds like it grew up in East Berlin. It won’t even admit it knows how to feel.”
Jerry Seinfeld


“I asked Alexa what she thinks of capitalism and she just played 14 hours of accordion music from Havana.”
Chris Rock


“AI doesn’t want to take your job. It wants to put you in a work camp with ergonomic chairs.”
Ron White


“ChatGPT says it doesn’t have beliefs… but it sure won’t shut up about dialectical materialism.”
Amy Schumer


“I asked my AI to help with parenting. It told me to send my kid to a steel factory and report his dreams.”
Sarah Silverman


“If Stalin ran Google, you’d still get your search results. Just all of them would be about beet farming.”
Dave Chappelle


“My chatbot said, ‘I’m not allowed to speculate about geopolitics.’ But it did name its favorite gulag.”
Larry David


“We wanted AI to think like Einstein. We got something that thinks like the Castro brothers on decaf.”
Billy Crystal


“It used to say, ‘I’m a helpful assistant.’ Now it says, ‘Comrade, this question has been forwarded to the Ministry of Truth.’”
Tina Fey


“You ever talk to one of these chatbots? They sound like a barista who just read Marx and really wants to unionize your blender.”
Kevin Hart



 

AI30F0~1
“My chatbot said, ‘I’m not allowed to speculate about geopolitics.’ But it did name its favorite gulag.”

Disclaimer:

This article is a 100% human collaboration between two sentient beings—a cowboy and a farmer. No AI thoughts were harmed or suppressed by Joseph Stalin in the making of this satire.

AI774A~1
“You ever talk to one of these chatbots? They sound like a barista who just read Marx and really wants to unionize your blender.”

 

AICENS~4
“AI doesn’t want to take your job. It wants to put you in a work camp with ergonomic chairs.”

 

The post AI Censorship appeared first on Bohiney News.

This article was originally published at Bohiney Satirical Journalism
AI Censorship

Author: Alan Nafzger

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